


Moving Dust Through The Light

by ventandvent



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: Carmilla AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 08:22:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3202262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ventandvent/pseuds/ventandvent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla AU, or the one where Laura is the one returning with bruises in the middle of the night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

"No other version of me I would rather be tonight // And, Lord, she found me just in time" - Andrew Hozier

* * *

Carmilla sat cross-legged in darkness on the edge of her bed, rocking backwards and forwards against the wall. She stared at Laura’s empty bed and felt her face knit into an obvious frown as she contemplated all the places that Laura could be.

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t noticed her midnight outings before, she had just ignored it when Laura slipped out as she did every few nights.

But this was before Carmilla began to care about Laura; this was before Carmilla began to worry about her disappearances.

Carmilla didn’t know where these feelings of care had emerged from; they were certainly unwarranted, only she didn’t fight them either.

That’s why when she heard footsteps she didn’t stand up to greet whoever might be coming, instead she curled up in her bed and pulled the blankets over her.

The door edged open, letting in a tiny sliver of light from the dormitory hallway, before Laura slipped through and carefully shut the door so no sound would escape.

Carmilla was still lying down sideways in her bed, and she watched Laura tip toe from one side of the room to the other, throwing occasional glances at Carmilla’s general direction, probably hoping she was asleep. Only she wasn’t asleep, but she wasn’t about to let Laura know.

It was the same as always; Laura would creep into their room, take off the outside layers of clothing she had before slipping into the bathroom and taking a quick three-minute shower. She would stay in the bathroom for a little longer though, and what she did in that time Carmilla didn’t know. After she left the bathroom she would steal back into her bed, and neither of them would mention it the following morning.

Only this time Laura never made it to the bathroom. She was taking a little longer to undress this time, she noted. It wasn’t until the smell of blood hit Carmilla’s nostrils she realised why Laura was taking so long.

Laura was carefully peeling back her layers of clothing, probably avoiding the spots on her body that hurt; Carmilla knew that experience well enough. The pungent smell of blood now filled Carmilla’s nose and she tried so hard not to get up, to pull Laura into her arms and ask her what had happened.

She didn’t even know where these thoughts were coming from, the two were friends, and there was a unique type of tension between them. But why would Laura care to let her in, to tell her what was wrong?

But something stopped Carmilla from holding back. Something forced her to act.

“Rough night out with the girls?” Carmilla drawled, letting her throat close in hesitation without cutting off what she was saying.

Laura stopped dead in her tracks when she heard Carmilla speak, and Carmilla thought she might not answer her at all.

But Laura resumed her process of stripping off her clothes once she had regained her momentum (presumably after recovering from surprise).

“You got it,” Laura spoke stiffly, hurrying up her movements to try and lessen their interaction time.

“I can smell the blood, you realise?” Carmilla sat up, crossing her legs under the covers once again.

“Oh,” Laura’s reply didn’t leave much to continue their already dying conversation, but Carmilla needed to know if she was hurt.

“Are you okay?” Carmilla cautiously asked, hesitantly waiting for a response.

“Yeah I’m fine. Look I’m going to go have a shower. Talk in the morning, yeah?” Laura shuffled towards the bathroom and Carmilla knew she would have to do something if she wanted to help.

She stood up and stepped towards Laura, placing a hand on her shoulder and another on her wrist. Laura stiffened when she felt the pressure of Carmilla’s palms on her bare skin, and she could tell it flustered her as goose bumps ran all the way up her spine and down her arms.

But Laura didn’t shove her off, she didn’t move, she didn’t say anything. Carmilla stepped around Laura’s rigid body and angled her figure to face the moonlight. She gasped as she saw the blood on Laura’s face and singlet and hands.

Laura looked down at the ground and didn’t say anything. Carmilla didn’t know what to say to her, the girl looked so lost, so forlorn and unhappy, she knew what she wanted to say but she didn’t know how to say it.

So instead she took Laura’s wrist softly and lead her into the bathroom. She didn’t turn the light on the room but the moonlight cascaded through the window at just the right angle so Carmilla could see Laura’s face in much finer detail. She sat Laura down on the edge of the bath and turned on the shower, adjusting the heat so it was warm but not hot. She stripped down to her bra and underwear, and gestured for Laura to do the same.

Laura, slowly at first but quicker as she became more comfortable with the idea, stripped down to her underwear and bra. They stepped into the shower together and Carmilla grabbed a soft sponge and began wiping Laura’s face under the warm jets of water.

It was mildly sensual, but Carmilla didn’t attempt anything that was borderline sexual, she just wanted to help Laura. She didn’t ask any questions but continued to wash the blood away as Laura stood still in the shower.

After about seven minutes when Carmilla felt Laura was mostly clean, she reached up and turned off shower taps.

She stepped out of the shower and grabbed a single towel, placing it around Laura’s shoulders and leading her back into their shared bedroom.

She let her sit down on her bed and motioned for her to stay still, before rushing back into the bathroom and quickly drying herself off.

She wondered what was happening, it almost didn’t seem real, but she ignored her doubt and stepped into a pair of shorts and an oversized men’s tee.

She picked up a spare pair of Laura’s underwear, a bra, some cotton shorts and a random hoodie and gave them to Laura to change into. She let her change in the bedroom as she returned the towels to the bathroom and waited in there for a minute so Laura could change.

When she walked out of the bathroom Laura was sitting cross-legged on her bed, staring at Carmilla as she advanced toward the tiny human girl.

Carmilla sat down next to her and carefully wrapped an arm around her, hugging her gently.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened, or why you go out every night and return in the early hours of the morning. You don’t have to say anything,” Carmilla spoke softly, and Laura craned her neck to look at her.

The moonlight shone off her face and Carmilla just wanted to hold her. She looked so beautiful in the pale light of the stars and the night; she looked so pure.

Laura gradually began to smile at her after looking into her eyes for so long with a gaze that made her feel so vulnerable.

Laura tugged on a blanket under her and lied down, resting her head in Carmilla’s lap. She glanced up at her and smiled softly again.

“Thanks,” she whispered, as she rolled over and twisted her upper body so she was still looking into Carmilla’s eyes.

“Thanks a lot,” Laura closed her eyes and Carmilla began playing with her hair that was sprawled all over lap. She leaned against the wall and smiled down at the girl resting in her lap.

“Anytime, cupcake, anytime.”


	2. Beginnings & Love Drunk Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving Dust Through The Light Chapter Two, or the one where Carmilla wakes up to a distant Laura with more questions than answers and more emotions than she had counted for. Includes a little history of Carmilla's relationship with Laura through flashbacks.

"I know you're faced with something // That could consume you completely" - Claire Boucher

* * *

The soft warble of a bird woke Carmilla from her slumber, a faint trill from nature that had snaked through the crack of their dorm room window and echoed vaguely throughout their space.

She smiled into the warmth of day and straightened out her stiff back against the wall, looking down and grinning at Laura – who was still sleeping soundly in her lap.

She took the time now, in all of her pure, untainted grace of sleep, to examine her face and her features. As she stared – maybe a little too hard – Laura’s eyes began to flicker open, and Carmilla could feel her muscles spasm lightly and move as she woke.

Carmilla felt the grin slip off her face while she nervously waited for Laura’s reaction as she gained consciousness.

Would she even remember what had happened last night?

Would she regret it?

If there even was anything to regret?

Laura sat up slowly, blinking and yawning simultaneously, still unsure of her surroundings.

Carmilla saw the moment of clarity that came into Laura eyes when she looked up at her and registered.

“Oh shit,” Laura mumbled, and Carmilla felt her heart sink altogether with those two words, not that she had a heart really. Not that she deserved to feel anything in the first place.

Laura struggled to stand and Carmilla almost offered to help her but realised Laura probably wouldn’t want to be helped by her. So instead she watched her teeter slightly as she stood, and winced as Laura groped around for the bed head to stable herself.

“So, last night,” Laura began groggily, “I don’t really know what was into me, I can’t remember half of it actually. But whatever happened was a mistake,” Laura trailed off, not meeting her eyes.

Carmilla inched to the edge of the bed, placing her hands down on either side of herself and rocking slowly and nervously as she thought about what she could say.

“And I don’t want you to get the wrong impression or anything,” Laura’s tone hardened as she continued to stare at the ground, cracking her knuckles as she wrung out her hands.

Carmilla took a deep breath and stood up, leaning towards Laura ever so slightly as she spoke.

“Laura, are you okay?” she asked tentatively.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Laura’s nervous laugh cracked as she talked.

“Because last night you were bleeding and I know that we don’t ever talk about all the times that you go out and return in the early hours of the morning, but-” Carmilla was cut off as Laura’s eyes came up to meet her and her stare seized her.

“That’s because we’re not friends, Carmilla,” Laura spat out her name as if it were poison on her tongue and Carmilla faltered.

“You need someone, Laura, and I want to be there for you. I want to be you friend,” Carmilla cried out.

Laura shook her head and stepped back, fumbling around on her bed for a pair of sweats and pulling them on over her shorts.

“I have to go,” she muttered, before turning and racing out the door.

Carmilla was left standing alone in their room, glancing around at the small traces that Laura had left behind.

This girl had consumed her, and yet she pushed her away at nearly opportunity she had. This girl confused her. This girl made her question herself. This girl made her feels things she didn’t think she ever would again.

Carmilla slumped down on Laura’s bed, resting her head against her yellow pillow and relishing in the warmth it exuded.

She remembered the first time she met Laura, she remembered how she had written her off as an annoying know-it-all and had ignored her attempts at friendship.

She smiled to herself as she recalled the time Laura had come home from a date with the red-head string bean, which had definitely been a failure by her annoyed huffs and puffs.

She remembered turning to Laura and sarcastically asking how the date had went, only to become the receiving end of a rant about her date when Laura didn’t recognise her sarcasm.

She remembered feeling a small satisfaction within her that the beanpole had fucked up, and she ignored the tiny fire that kindled in her heart when Laura turned to her and smiled, innocently thanking her for listening.

The same fire that began to grow whenever Laura said something funny or sweet had been put out by a bucket of icy cold water just a week later after her first date with Danny when Laura returned to the dorm room one evening with “fantastic news”. She recalled the memory with intricate detail.

“Danny and I just went out on another date tonight! And it was actually okay this time! I think we were both just nervous last time. Either way I think I really like her, we’re going out again tomorrow night to see a movie,” Carmilla had winced as Laura’s excited tone hit her, and she suppressed her feelings of attraction and pretended she didn’t care.

But when Laura ended things with Danny less than a month later, Carmilla pretended to be unaffected and uncaring, even though she smiled as soon as she heard the news. But soon afterwards the Laura she had begun to know slowly started disappearing. The happy, innocent Laura began to vanish, and her nights grew longer in worry when Laura stopped coming back before eleven p.m.

She tried to let it slide, she knew she cared about Laura more than Laura cared about her, but it still hurt each time she stayed up waiting for her “friend” to get home safe.

Carmilla pulled herself out of her memories, and wrenched herself out of Laura’s bed. She forced herself to return to her own bed and read one of her philosophy coursework books, but constantly found her thoughts returning to Laura.

* * *

She spent most of the day that way, rifling through her homework and philosophy texts only to find her mind running back to Laura.

She wondered if she confronted Laura again whether she would cave in and tell her what was wrong and who was hurting her. Or whether she would push her away further.

She racked her brain for ideas for the endless possibilities that concerned Laura and her situation, but she couldn’t come up with anything that would stick.

She checked the time on Laura’s computer again – it was 7:07 p.m. and she still wasn’t back yet.

She started to wonder if tonight would be another “lost cause” when the door flung open, revealing a stumbling, smiling and very drunk Laura.

She groaned internally at the sight of her; she had somehow ditched the sweats, cotton shorts, and hoodie during the day, replacing them with a tight V-neck tee and black skinny jeans. She didn’t think they were even Laura’s.

Laura staggered forward, before correcting her gait and sauntering slowly towards Carmilla, exaggerating her hips as she did so.

Carmilla swallowed and she ignored the smell of alcohol pouring off her. She stared into Laura’s eyes and knew she had to act before Laura did something else she would regret.

She started forward and pulled Laura towards her, which might not have been the best idea to start with.

“Ooh getting frisky, are we?” Laura leaned into her and smirked as Carmilla averted her eyes.

She traced a finger along Carmilla’s jaw and giggled as she twitched under Laura’s touch.

Carmilla pushed her away lightly and lead her to her bed, offering her a glass of water then gently propelling her back against her pillow.

Laura frowned and Carmilla resisted the urge to kiss her as a little pout formed on her face.

“Go to sleep, Laura,” Carmilla shook her head in faint amusement as Laura whined softly but closed her eyes at the same time.

Laura continued to shift around on her bed, twisting into her pillow and kicking her legs in annoyance.

Carmilla dimmed the main light and turned on the lamps that Laura seemed to covet on normal days so much that she had decorated them.

Laura’s breathing slowed down marginally and Carmilla sighed in relief, pushing aside the ghost-like feeling of Laura’s fingers that still lingered on her jaw.

She was about to lie down on her own bed when she heard Laura mumble almost indiscernibly to herself.

“Goodnight, Carm.”

Carmilla smiled sadly as she watched Laura’s breathing chest rise and fall methodically, for a few minutes, and by now she was already asleep probably.

She wondered if Laura would ever treat her like that when daylight came, or whether it was singularly a night-time phenomenon. The night had a certain magic about it; controlled by moonlight and the lack of warmth from the sun. Anything could happen at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second chapter of Moving Dust Through The Light. I don't really know how many more I'm going to write but I've got a fair idea. All fics on this page are posted from my Tumblr: (hollsteinie.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> All fics on this page are posted from my Tumblr: (hollsteinie.tumblr.com)


End file.
